why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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