the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
