3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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