They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
