she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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