I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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