talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
