you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
