The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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