not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
