u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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