just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
