I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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