I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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