im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
