omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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