I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
