i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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