I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I could fuck to npr.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
