so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
