I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
