Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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