But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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