All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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