Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
