i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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