I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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