Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
