I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
