11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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