I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
wow bdsm is so cute
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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