do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
