i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
