I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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