you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
