He had one of those small greek statue penises
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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