16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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