Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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