Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
