Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
