He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize