Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
