Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
