Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
