she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
