we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
