you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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