So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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