I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize