Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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