It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?