Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"