i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
