i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
