Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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