Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
