whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
