if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
