I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
