On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
