OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
