I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize