How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
