i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
