I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
