Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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