I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
